Tromedlov and the Pillar of Storge
by hootingice
Summary: Now that Harry and Ron are dead, it is Tromedlov who is in charge. The following qs will be answered: Is Tromedlov really a muggle? Is Patrick really a wizard? Is Hermione 'next? Who REALLY hoots? Who cares? Find out! You shoulld read ice and Who Hoots? e
1. The Return Of DOOM

**Tromedlov and the Pillar of Storge**

**Chapter One: The Return of DOOM**

Lightning flashed. The Muggles of DOOM sat in their headquarters, waiting. Wait..? Waiting? The Muggles of DOOM never wait! People wait for he MoDs! Waiting for 6 hours too! What were they thinking?

The doors opened, and Tromedlov entered, dragging a dead body along with him. No, it was not Ron. Not Harry either. After several deep breaths, he found the courage to say:

"Today, we are honoring the loss of a very important past Muggle of DOOM: Mr. Very Cool Special Train Driver Sir. Leaving us just a few years ago, he was killed by the wizards, not the owls as everyone thinks. Another reason that MUGGLES RULE! I shall now resume all the posts he had ever had, just because I said so. That's what 'cool' means."

Meanwhile, back home, Hermione was crying over her two dead friends. Every once in a while, Hedwig would slam into her head hooting happily about the death of her owner.

"Hoot, hoot, the boy is dead!" Hedwig hooted once again, slamming into Hermione.

"Thanks," Hermione said, for a headache really does cheer a sad person up.

50 miles from there, a cry of "Avada Kedavra" was heard. Professor Argus Filch was dead. Mrs. Norris started meowing the "boy/man is dead" song.

No cats or owls were harmed in the making of this chapter.


	2. Expressions

**Chapter Two: Expressions**

Don't you love it how in writing you can make time pass so quickly? I mean just in the last chapter Tromedlov and Hermione went back home, and now it is back off to school.

As soon as Hermione went onboard the Hogwarts Express, something seemed empty. And new. But who cares? I mean it's just Filch, nothing important happened to him. Right? She went into the next empty room.

"Hello, I'm Mr. Storge Norris, and I'm your new, well, whatever job Filch had. I don't care, because I'm just here to meet the famous Harry Potter," Mr. Storge Norris, the new whatever job Filch had, that was just there to meet the famous Harry Potter said.

"Haven't you heard? Misterry Pottery is dead!" Hermione replied with a puzzled expression on her face.

"And why is he dead?"

"And why do you care?"

"'Cause I am Voldemort, and only I can kill him."

Hermione woke up in a cold sweat.

"_Avada Kedavra_," she pointed at a random person on the street.

"Hermy be nice," her mommy called from some downstairs room.

Hermy of course didn't care. She saw Voldy in her dream! It was Harry's job to do that! Then she felt it. She was growing a scar.

She tried to wake up in a cold sweat once again. But no- for once- Hermione was stuck there.


	3. The Well Read Writer

**Chapter 3: The Well-Read Writer**

So Hermione was going back to Hogwarts once again scar and all. This time, she was sitting alone- nobody wanted to sit with a girl with a scar, just as nobody wanted to sit by a boy dead by Kamysh mouse at the hands of a pharaoh with a cigarette. Finally, the door opened and a guy came in, one that looked surprisingly like this profile of Spoiler Man, as seen in this smiley face: . That is pretty much all I can say about that dude, because at that time he started telling his spoiler warning and Hermione fell asleep, until she heard him say something.

"Did you just say that SNAPE KILLED DUMBLEDORE!" Hermione screamy-screechied. That hasn't happened since he killed Harry!"

"HE killed Harry? HE KILLED HARRY? Girl, it is I that killed Harry, for I am cool like that," the man replied, not exactly comforting Hermy.

"You see, I am not used to people coming into this cabin, and telling me to that SNAPE KILLED DUMBLEDORE and that YOU KILLED HARRY."

"Well technically Dumbledore was killed by JK Rowling…"

"JK WHO?"

"I read about you OK? That's most important. And I wrote you out your scar. For Hermy, I AM YOUR WRITER."

"Oh you wish. I am my own writer and always will be."

"NEVER!"


End file.
